Je M'appelle

When a couple is expecting a baby, there are a myriad of topics to cover before the baby is born, but if I had to guess, I would say the area that receives the most attention is what to name the baby. Actually, no other issue seems to be as divisive before the baby is born (the disagreements over more important issues, such as the distribution of child rearing responsibilities, apparently come later!). More than a few of the couples I know have experienced at least a little friction over what to name their baby. My wife and I started discussing names before she was even pregnant, and we agreed quickly on a few. No friction, really. Still, along the way, we both came up with names that, at the very least, could be called unusual. Here are some of the most unusual. In the comments section, guess who proposed each name. The person who correctly guesses the most will receive a prize.

• Bear (boy)
  
• Kelly (boy)
  
• Plumeria (girl)
  
• Geronimo (boy)
  
• Clover (girl)
  
• Milo (boy)
  
• Ryan (girl)

Gender Politics

Almost everyone asks if we will find out before the birth whether we will be having a boy or girl. No, we say, we want to be surprised. However, Lucy is convinced the baby is a boy, but I am equally sure she is a girl. Since I am sure the baby is a girl, I have been thinking a lot about raising a girl. How will I help instill confidence in her while a large segment of our culture tries to teach her the wrong values (e.g. her value--and every other woman's value--is in her looks while men are judged on what they accomplish)? I have been thinking about what steps--both big and small--I can take to do more than offset the effects of our sexist culture. And if I am wrong, and the baby is a boy, how will I teach him the same ... and to be a feminist?

A Second Ultrasound

The baby has started to move. I felt him or her swimming around yesterday. The speechlessness from that single moment lasted a full day. We will be going for a second ultrasound tomorrow. We had the first ultrasound early--around the eighth week. After the ultrasound, Lucy was upset because my reaction during the ultrasound was much different from what she had expected. Even after I asked her about how I should have reacted, she wasn't sure herself. All she (and I) knew was that my reaction came as a surprise to her. In retrospect, I can see that I should have showed more excitement, though. While I can fool people into thinking I am cool, calm, and collected, the truth is, I am a worrier. I was worried about the baby's health the entire ultrasound. When I heard the sound of the heartbeat, that gave me a moment of relief, but then I started thinking about other questions. For example, will the baby have a healthy heart or will it be like my dad's? Those questions preoccupied me when I was supposed to be having a moment of joy. Since then, I have tried to do a better job of worrying about the stuff within my control and letting go of the rest.