A Second Ultrasound

The baby has started to move. I felt him or her swimming around yesterday. The speechlessness from that single moment lasted a full day. We will be going for a second ultrasound tomorrow. We had the first ultrasound early--around the eighth week. After the ultrasound, Lucy was upset because my reaction during the ultrasound was much different from what she had expected. Even after I asked her about how I should have reacted, she wasn't sure herself. All she (and I) knew was that my reaction came as a surprise to her. In retrospect, I can see that I should have showed more excitement, though. While I can fool people into thinking I am cool, calm, and collected, the truth is, I am a worrier. I was worried about the baby's health the entire ultrasound. When I heard the sound of the heartbeat, that gave me a moment of relief, but then I started thinking about other questions. For example, will the baby have a healthy heart or will it be like my dad's? Those questions preoccupied me when I was supposed to be having a moment of joy. Since then, I have tried to do a better job of worrying about the stuff within my control and letting go of the rest.