Gender Politics

Almost everyone asks if we will find out before the birth whether we will be having a boy or girl. No, we say, we want to be surprised. However, Lucy is convinced the baby is a boy, but I am equally sure she is a girl. Since I am sure the baby is a girl, I have been thinking a lot about raising a girl. How will I help instill confidence in her while a large segment of our culture tries to teach her the wrong values (e.g. her value--and every other woman's value--is in her looks while men are judged on what they accomplish)? I have been thinking about what steps--both big and small--I can take to do more than offset the effects of our sexist culture. And if I am wrong, and the baby is a boy, how will I teach him the same ... and to be a feminist?

A Second Ultrasound

The baby has started to move. I felt him or her swimming around yesterday. The speechlessness from that single moment lasted a full day. We will be going for a second ultrasound tomorrow. We had the first ultrasound early--around the eighth week. After the ultrasound, Lucy was upset because my reaction during the ultrasound was much different from what she had expected. Even after I asked her about how I should have reacted, she wasn't sure herself. All she (and I) knew was that my reaction came as a surprise to her. In retrospect, I can see that I should have showed more excitement, though. While I can fool people into thinking I am cool, calm, and collected, the truth is, I am a worrier. I was worried about the baby's health the entire ultrasound. When I heard the sound of the heartbeat, that gave me a moment of relief, but then I started thinking about other questions. For example, will the baby have a healthy heart or will it be like my dad's? Those questions preoccupied me when I was supposed to be having a moment of joy. Since then, I have tried to do a better job of worrying about the stuff within my control and letting go of the rest.